Head-Butting Romantic Conflicts

According to Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies, by Leslie Waigner, there are three common issues facing the hero and heroine:

Trust: Need I say more?

Control: Who needs the guy to control you—and ultimately your heart—when your skills and confidence make you a kickass [fill in the blank]?

Self-image: How could he possibly be interested in me when XX is much prettier, smarter, skinnier (the list goes on)?

The benefit of using an issue such as above is that it keeps your hero and heroine together plot wise, but keeps them apart emotionally. This helps drives the conflicts (both internal and external) while allowing the happy couple to eventually fall in love.

Does anyone have any other issues to add to the list?

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Page Turners in Romance

Why do readers of romance keeping turning the page instead of rushing off to clean the toilet? (I mean, other than the obvious reason) It’s because they want to know what happens between the hero and heroine.

But it’s not enough to give the two characters a happily-ever-after from page one (save that for the ending). You need to create tension and conflict between them, which is maintained throughout the story.

According to Leslie Waigner (Writing a Romance Novel for Dummies) this can be achieved by creating an emotional conflict (one that grows from the heart) between the two characters that has nothing to with the plot. After that, you can throw all kinds of complications at them.

However, don’t confuse emotional conflict with intellectual conflict. Intellectual conflict comes from the head, such as opinions.

Remember, at the end of the day, the reader cares more about what’s in the hero’s and heroine’s hearts than what’s in their heads. (Okay, you know what I mean.)

Is there anything in a romance that keeps you from turning the page?

Real Life or Romance?

I used to believe in Fairy Tales. You know - the HEA types. My Fair Lady with Audrey Hepburn was my heroine of choice. My mom used to warn me that life wasn't like the fairy tales I loved but I never believed her.

Not after my heart was broken from too many boys with winning smiles and dangerous glints in their eyes. Not after my best friend married at age 18 and then divorced a year later. Not even after I experienced rape first hand.

Nothing would shake my belief that HEA is real.

When I met my husband, he proved it to me. My white knight who drove a hard core Mustang. It was love at first sight.

My Fairy Tale come true.

But we all know life gets in the way of love. And that's why we dive into the romance novels. Not for the hard core body action, not for the sighs of delights, the handsome Scots in their kilts, the Tall Dark & Handsome stranger who rescues the damsel in distress. Nope. We read it because of the ups and downs our heroines go through, the conflicts, the stupid choices made throughout the story.

Don't get me wrong. All that other stuff is CRUCIAL to enjoying the story! We need the naked bodies, the titillating heart throbs, the love at first sight. But deep down, I think we like to read a story when someone else's life is WORSE than ours. When the choices THEY make end up making our choices look 'not so bad after all'.

We lose ourselves in these stories because they take us away from our lives. They give us our fairytale when we feel like Cinderella before the ball.

That's my thought at least. What do you think? Agree? Disagree? Why do you read romance novels?

Better yet - why do you write them?

Twelve steps to Steamy

Whether you write YA novels or any other genre were romance occurs, there’s no emotional satisfaction if your characters meet one second and are making out (or having sex) the next. You need to build up to the moment. Tease your characters and readers. Take things slowly. And take them through the 12 steps to intimacy as originally described by author Linda Howard:

1.      Eye to body

2.      Eye to eye

3.      Voice to voice

4.      Hand to hand (or arm)

5.      Arm to shoulder

6.      Arm to waist or back

7.      Kissing  (mouth to mouth)

8.      Hand to head

9.      Hand to body

10.  Mouth to breast

11.  Hand to private parts

12.  Private parts to private part (okay, you know what I mean).

Your characters don’t have to go through all the steps in the first meeting (though they can), and the steps don’t have to be done in this order (though don’t try #12 without hitting the majority of the others first).

I personally think it’s sexier when the guy’s lips travel over the female’s temple, jaw, throat, or shoulder before finding her lips. And don’t forget the kiss can range from the brushing of his lips against hers to the deepening of their kisses. Maybe the guy leans in to kiss her (maybe he even gets as far as brushing his lips against hers) and the kiss is interrupted by someone or something else. Always a favorite trick of mine.  Also, by introducing just a few steps at a time, you can build the suspense, leaving your reader wondering whether the first kiss (or the more intimate, deepening kiss) is going to happen and when.  

But please, don’t make your reader wait too long. Nothing drives me crazier than having to wait ¾ of the book before the main character and her love interest finally kiss (as in the YA paranormal novel I recently read). What I do love, though, is not knowing if they’re going to go all the way. Obviously that doesn’t work for all subgenres of romance. If you’re reading an erotic romance, you’re expecting some action to happen pretty quickly. Heck, you’re expecting action. Period. This is why it’s important to be well read in the type of books you want to write.

Questions: do you like waiting for the first kiss to happen or get frustrated if it takes too long? Do you prefer things to get steamy pretty quickly (depending on the genre, this could be a steamy make out scene or a mind numbing rump between sheets)? And what is your favorite type of first kiss?

Young Love -- YA Romance

Ever wonder why so many of us (non-young adults) can't seem to get enough of reading stories about teenage love? Not that some YA can't get pretty steamy, but there are far smokier scenes in adult romance novels. So why do we still love our regular doses of young love?

Some of my guesses?

We Miss Being the Center of Attention

Bella & Edward - Twilight

There is nothing like that rush of realizing -- for the first time -- that his sun (pardon the pun, Edward) rises and sets for you. Adult men have just as many responsibilities as we do. Teenage men can make the girl of their dreams the center of their world.

Our Complicated Isn't Really So Complicated

Elena & Stefan  - Vampire Diaries

It may not feel that way, but our lives are fairly unfettered during our teenage years. Emotionally challenging, you bet, but most are spared the worrying about bills, mortgage payments, shuttling the kids to soccer practice. A teenage girl can enjoy falling in love without a mile long To-Do list waiting for her when she gets home.

You Can Only Experience Your First Time Once

Joey & Pacey - Dawson's Creek

First kiss. First love. First sexual experience. First heartbreak. Those things only come along once, and because we don't have any experience with them all our senses are running full tilt. We're constantly caught in a state between terrified and exhilarated.

We Still Believe Fairy Tale Endings Are Possible

Sam & Austin  - A Cinderella Story

Not that we all turn into jaded shrews as we age. . . but after we suffer a broken heart or two, we often  guard our emotions a little more carefully. After we lose our first love, we tend look at new romantic partners with the hope that he'll turn out to be our Prince Charming. Whereas the first time we fell in love we were sure it was going to last forever.

Those are just some of the reasons why I think I tend to get swept up so easily in a good YA romance. How about you?